The Little Mermaid is the beloved story of Ariel, a beautiful and spirited young mermaid with a thirst for adventure. The film stars Halle Bailey as Ariel, Daveed Diggs as the voice of Sebastian, Jacob Tremblay as the voice of Flounder, Awkwafina as the voice of Scuttle, Jonah Hauer-King as Prince Eric, Art Malik as Sir Grimsby, Noma Dumezweni as Queen Selina, Javier Bardem as King Triton, and Melissa McCarthy as Ursula. They may appear sexy, but damn they're deadly: chat them up at your peril.Ĭheck out the teaser trailer for The Little Mermaid, the upcoming live-action reimagining of the animated musical classic. Us chaps have always secretly been terrified of women, but these chicks take the biscuit – and that's a mere appetiser before they bite your head off and floss their teeth with your spinal cord. In actual fact, Daryl and John were desperately trying to warn us about man-eaters of a very real kind the ladies we examine here, from the relative safety of behind our monitors. watch out boy, she'll chew you up", it was mistakenly released as pop classic 'Maneater'. When Hall and Oates sang, "Wo-oh here she comes. Which sounds disconcertingly like our local Wetherspoons after dark. When all the ladies at the boys' countryside retreat become infected and turn into man-eating cannibals ("Must be bird flu", they joke), a lads' night out becomes a harrowing fight for survival, as grotesque, hideous women lurch lustfully for their flesh. When professional geezers Stephen Graham, Noel Clarke and Danny 'pwoper nawty' Dyer are out on the lash, they're guaranteed to be fighting the girls off with a stick - and in this case, we mean quite literally. They may appear sexy, but damn they're deadly: chat them up at your peril. Us chaps have always secretly been terrified of women, but these chicks take the biscuit and that's a mere appetiser before they bite your head off and floss their teeth with your spinal cord. I hope we can still be friends, and that some other lumps of human gristle can make you happy. Snake or no snake, chewing on our trachea in public is a PDA too far. But as the night grew old, you turned into a snarling vampire beast and started eating the bar's patrons - that was the first clue that our relationship was not to be. When we first met you, you brought the house down with your sexy table dancing and erotic snake-handling - it was love at first sight. Oh Satanico, I'm afraid we'll never make it work as a couple.
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